Why ME God?

In most recovery programs they list an action plan that begins with admitting or accepting your role in your own toxic behavior. So, as a recovering Gentile, I will freely admit I have used the words “Why ME God?” more than once and more than I should. Everyday I have to remind myself where I stand in the bigger picture of things. What did I contribute other than the “blame hurled through the universe”?

  • John 16:33 “These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation*: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world.
  • G2347 θλίψις thlipsis (thliy’-psis) n. pressure. afflicted(-tion), anguish, burdened, persecution, tribulation, trouble, to compress. to squeeze. to press hard. (passively) to be hard pressed.

We can gain a little perspective from the Martina McBride song called “(I Never Promised You A) Rose Garden.” Life was not designed to be as carefree and easy as the world portrays; I believe that John 16:33 could have been used as inspiration. Yeshua spoke the truth to the people and never promised this thing called life as easy. Why? We (Adamic race) did it to ourselves!

  • “And unto Adam he said, Because thou hast hearkened unto the voice of thy wife, and hast eaten of the tree, of which I commanded thee, saying, Thou shalt not eat of it: cursed is the ground for thy sake; in sorrow shalt thou eat of it all the days of thy life; Thorns also and thistles shall it bring forth to thee; and thou shalt eat the herb of the field; In the sweat of thy face shalt thou eat bread, till thou return unto the ground; for out of it wast thou taken: for dust thou art, and unto dust shalt thou return.” Genesis 3:17-19

Sounds great, after all the creation was perfect, but, there is something we fail to realise. The disobedience to the command of God (instruction/Torah) cause the planned action and interactions of the universe to come to a grinding halt. A new course had been established with the directions coming from someone other than God!

A cliche that could be bandied about here would be “one bad apple spoils the bunch.” Like the rotting apple or rust… or wait…

  • Matthew 6:19-20 “Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth, where moth and rust doth corrupt, and where thieves break through and steal: But lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust doth corrupt, and where thieves do not break through nor steal:”

Both moth and rust are non-stop in their pursuit until eventually nothing is left. The corruption of the ground is under that very curse. The world as we know it will continue to erode both in the physical as well as the spiritual despite the ranting of the televangelists. (nothing new under the sun)

  • Acts 8:9 “But there was a certain man, called Simon, which beforetime in the same city used sorcery, and bewitched the people of Samaria, giving out that himself was some great one:”

We need to continually remind ourselves of the prior statement “but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world.”

I don’t know about you, but for me, I was steeply indoctrinated to the program of the world. By the age of twenty-one I was in the full stride of the human race. They told me that I should dedicate myself to: (a) get good grades (b) work hard for 40 years (c) love one woman (d) do your best for others.

Taking these sage words to task I set out to be the best I could be in each area. Honor roll and no one recognized it. In fact, my guidance counselor told me to my face I “would never amount to anything”.

After memorizing the employee handbook and the entry level managers guide and the 3 years it took to do it, I found myself at a maxed capacity for advancement. People ‘at the next level’ were all [on average] 15-20 years older and so the waiting room employment began. Using words like “grooming” and such left me with the impression that they had bought a workhorse by calling the money exchanged a salary.

Again, all this is by the age of twenty-one; I was already divorced. The woman that supposedly stole my heart had never really owned her own heart. Promiscuity from an early age coupled with a family devoid of the Scriptures my “one and only” asked to sleep with my best friend.

During my early development I was assigned chores within the single parent home, for which, I am really grateful for now. Not so much then. I went to church, youth group, and was a member of the Boy Scouts. The options for “do good-ery” was nearly endless. Everytime I gave to the people the people willingly took. But the giving could never cease. Talk about pressure – talk about being hard pressed.

Is it any wonder why I would scream out “Why ME God?”

Digging deeper into my own life….. please do not think I am seeking sympathy… I have already dealt with all of this… as I hope to point that out….

My preeteen years were spent with my step-father who was a professional alcoholic, he was truly gifted as a heating and air conditioning man, but he chose the bottle over labor as his profession. He would go with one of his brothers on all night hunting or fishing trips and would return in the early morning so intoxicated he could barely walk. The most amazing thing was he could still stir up a fight.

I have witnessed the beheading of live animals in the kitchen by this drunken man, all the while, he shouted cooking orders to my mother. On one such occasion he shot a hole through the kitchen floor and you could see into the basement if the lights were on. His domestic terrorism and ridiculous antics didn’t stop there; he often times would be physically abusive and would beat my mother. This went on for more years than I care to recall. As for my biological father…. prison and stupidity separated us.

It was in this atmosphere that I began to formulate the “me” that people would later associate to as “Jon.”

What was the difference? what caused change? What made Jon the way he was?

I became bitter and resentful and hate grew in me, by the time I was in high school, I was ready to take on anyone and anything that got in my way. To do this I had to eliminate competition through education. If I knew the right answer then I could be disciplined to perform the right way. I often think I would have been great in the military setting. But I digress.

This is the motivation for memorizing the work manual. Did I know the rules? Yes. Could I perform according to those rules? Yes. So what held me back. Come to find out, through a co-worker’s confession, they were fearful I would outperform them and “steal” their job. This is the fallen world. This person had failed to realize the opportunity to present my advancement as a successful project that he was the conductor and I was his project. Together we could have accomplish so much. What I didn’t know… was that my ambition was as toxic as their jealousy.

In my bitterness I had associated love as a physical/tangible experience primarily. The “proof” of a woman’s love was the physical engagement. Love was nothing more than satisfying the flesh to prove a point. Love didnt require “lying down my life” as Yeshua tell us. I was seeking approval from women and not love or relationship. Another great place to cry out “why me God?”

This ‘approval seeking’ had prevailed in every aspect of my life and I had been the one that allowed this to prevail. I wanted approval from the employer, the school, the friend/associate in addition to the women in my life. While trying to find approval from the real source that was unavailable to me at the time; father and family. I was unconsciously trying to please my own flesh as a replacement.

  • Romans 8:8 “So then they that are in the flesh cannot please God.”

Proverbs 22:6 tells us “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” The application of this wise statement is where mankind has “fallen off the wagon”. They have returned to their own way of doing things. The Bible again tells us “There is a way which seemeth right unto a man, but the end thereof are the ways of death.” Proverbs 14:12 & 16:25

It took twenty-five years for me to realize I had created all my own problems while trying to blame them all on others. Bad parents, bad boss, bad wife, and bad friends…. when it was really “my bad”. Had I known the Scriptures as an instruction book I would have behaved in a way pleasing to not only humans, more importantly, to God.

  • 2 Corinthians 7:10 “For godly sorrow* worketh repentance to salvation not to be repented of: but the sorrow of the world worketh death.”
  • G3077 λύπη lupe (lï ’-pee) n. grief, sorrow, distress, heaviness.

That is the point….. if we have a personal relationship with God, pleasing him first, we have nothing to regret…. our desire to please mankind first will ultimately lead us to Satan and his plans. Eve had to admit that she had been beguiled. First of many who need/needed to do that very same.

As a result of the “cursed ground” my “human suit” hit planet earth primed for beguiling. The grandparents, as was the generation before, were equally uneducated in the Scriptures so the decline of the family, and in the greater aspect mankind, was eminent.

  • Hosea 4:6 “My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge: because thou hast rejected knowledge, I will also reject thee, that thou shalt be no priest to me: seeing thou hast forgotten the law of thy God, I will also forget thy children.”
  • Proverbs 16:7 “When a man’s ways please the Lord, he maketh even his enemies to be at peace with him.”

Now…. how to reconcile all of this to make so real sense of the pain of life. First and foremost we see the devolving/decline of the creation. {Darwin couldn’t have been more akin to Proverbs 14:12} Next we see the “will” of mankind and our desperate attempt to provide our remedy for our lives.

  • John 5:19 “Then answered Jesus and said unto them, Verily, verily, I say unto you, The Son can do nothing of himself, but what he seeth the Father do: for what things soever he doeth, these also doeth the Son likewise.”
  • John 15:5 “I am the vine, ye are the branches: He that abideth in me, and I in him, the same bringeth forth much fruit: for without me ye can do nothing.”

The modern day church portrays the ‘name it and claim it’ and the ‘prosperity’ gospel so heavily that most, if not all, feel as though a little opposition in the world is a sure sign that God does not love them. It was that way with my early walk in the faith. If I didn’t get a promotion or recognized for my efforts is because of the “mean” God. This NOT how God works!

McBrides song contains the following:

Pretty sobering. The world and all their fancy politicians, preachers and publicans. Any wonder why Yeshua sought out these people to converse among? He was trying to teach them the truth.

And if you are waiting on the world to sway your direction, or better yet God’s direction …. think again.

  • John 15:18 “If the world hate you, ye know that it hated me before it hated you.”
  • John 17:14 “I have given them thy word; and the world hath hated them, because they are not of the world, even as I am not of the world.”

If you are waiting for the world to be less oppressive to humanity…. think again. Read Matthew 24 and Isaiah 60-66 they spell it out. Likewise Peter warns us of “false prophets also among the people, even as there shall be false teachers among you, who privily shall bring in damnable heresies, even denying the Lord.” Peter continues his warning “through covetousness shall they with feigned words make merchandise of you.” Why? Because they have “eyes full of adultery, and that cannot cease from sin; beguiling unstable souls.”

Friends and foreigners, all who are reading, please become a Berean!

  • Acts 17:11 “These [The Bereans] were more noble than those in Thessalonica, in that they received the Word with all readiness of mind, and searched the scriptures daily, whether those things were so.”

Take what I have written…. all 600+ blogs and measure them against the Word! I firmly believe the cares of the world… and its standards ….will fade as your relationship to the Creator increases.

  • Jeremiah 29:13 “And ye shall seek me, and find me, when ye shall search for me with all your heart.”
  • Matthew 7:7-8 Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you: For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened.”

Finally, if it is peace and hope that you are seeking in this terrible chaotic world…. seek Him where He may be found…. Genesis through Malachi is YHVH speaking to the people of faith…. it is time for this generation to believe…. a faith that would walk a dry land for 40 years…. a faith that would build a boat despite never seeing a drop of rain in your life… that faces giants…. that marches around cities…

Romans 10:17-18 “So then faith cometh by hearing, and hearing by the word of God. But I say, Have they not heard? Yes verily, their sound went into all the earth, and their words unto the ends of the world.”

No matter what comes our way…. we have the hope that YHVH will make all things right in the end. It doesn’t mean we roll over and “just take it”… fight the good fight as Paul says… do the things that matter… and trust that YHVH will sort it all out in the end. Justice will come for all.

  • Revelation 6:15-16 “And the kings of the earth, and the great men, and the rich men, and the chief captains, and the mighty men, and every bondman, and every free man, hid themselves in the dens and in the rocks of the mountains; And said to the mountains and rocks, Fall on us, and hide us from the face of him that sitteth on the throne, and from the wrath of the Lamb:”

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